A Learning Experiance
by not the hat
Summary: The Doctor pops in to see River but as usually his driving skills are a little off.


Professor River Song had been a lecturer at Luna University ever since she had been pardoned from Stormcage, the most secure prison in the known universe. The university had River lecturing about mythology, not that she minded, it meant that River could tell the stories of the adventures she went with her magical time traveling husband who was scattered all throughout mythology. However, the professor never told her students that the myths were real and she had been in some of them, instead whenever she was in one of the myths she changed the name of the character in the myth to Mrs Robinson, succumbing to the use of the code name her husband gave her when they went on an adventure in 1996.

Today Rivers lecture was going to be about an adventure she went on called the Pandorica. The professor stepped out in front of all the students in the lecture hall she was lecturing in and looked around she could only see 3 spaces left in the second row back on the right, but that didn't make much difference the lecture hall was the biggest lecture hall in Luna University. River had not started of lecturing in this hall but due to how popular her lectures were she was forced to upgrade, if her lectures became any more popular then there would not be enough space for all the students!

River suspected that the only reason her lectures were so popular was because she was actually part of all the myths and even if she wasn't she knew most of the facts therefore allowing her to go into great detail when she gave her lectures.

Once she had stopped being in her own little world River noticed that silence had overcome the hall as all the students were eagerly waiting for her to start her lecture. "Hello everybody it's always good to see so many bright and eager faces. Today I am going to talk about the Pandorica." River informed the students. "Has anyone ever heard about the myth?" River asked and as she expected there were a few murmured yes' coming from all over the lecture hall.

"Okay then the first thing I have to tell you is that it is a myth about the Time Lord called the Doctor and two of his companions, Amy and Rory Pond, and the Mysterious Mrs Robinson." River informed her students she went to continue but one of her students interrupted by asking "Mrs Robinson doesn't sound like a mythological name, so why is she called Mrs Robinson it doesn't really fit?"

The question threw River slightly, however, she answered as honestly as she could. "That is a good question. The woman is called Mrs Robinson because she was the child of the ponds and her real name was believed to be Melody Pond. However, she was conceived on the Tardis whilst it was in flight, which caused her to become part Time Lord. This made Melody a good target to use as a weapon as people had seen what the Doctor was capable of, so Melody was kidnapped. It is believed that Melody was trained to kill the Doctor and she managed it, however, the doctor used his last words to tell Melody he loved her, it confused poor Melody how the man she was told was full of hate and was a killer of billions could love her after she had killed him. So she did something special that only she was able to do to save him and then the Doctor left to go on more adventures but due to the fact that time isn't a straight line Melody and the doctor and in some cases her parents would meet in the wrong order so Melody chose the name Mrs Robinson instead of Melody Pond in order to not mess up the time lines as it was important that her parents and the doctor didn't know who she was until another myth called Demons Run." River explained as best she could. "Does that make things a bit clearer?" River asked the student.

"Yeah, Mrs Robinson was an alias so if she met people in the wrong order they wouldn't know who she was." The student repeated in more simple terms as if they were trying to take everything on board.

"Right let's get back to the Pandorica. The Pandorica was a trap cre..." River stopped talking as she heard a familiar wheezing sound that brought hope to anyone that heard it and saw a small blue police box starting to materialise diagonally in front of her to the left. She knew her students would be wanting an explanation as to how things the believed to be myths were actually real, but instead of explaining she walked so that she was a meter in front of the doors, facing them, hands on hips waiting for the man she knew would appear out of the box without looking at the scanner to see where he was and sure enough in no more than ten seconds a man with terrible dress sense, honestly who wears a bow tie?, and floppy hair came rushing out of the odd blue box. "Honey I'm..." he began energetically but trailed of as he took in his surroundings, it wasn't where he meant to end up "not home" the man finished and River couldn't help but snigger a little at the fact that he had got it wrong.

"No sweetie you're not, before you interrupted I was giving a lecture about the Pandorica. So you have a choice sit quietly and watch as I work or come back after I've finished," River said giving the Doctor his two choices. "I'm sure your parents would love to see you at work" The doctor said before turning to the trades and yelling "Amy, Rory wake up and get out here now"

"Oh so it was going to be one of those adventures was it?" River asked the doctor in a seductive voice whilst they were waiting for the two ponds to arrive having momentarily seemingly to have forgotten about her students.

"Doctor we really love going on adventures but it better be really good if you didn't interrupt our sleep" Rory said as he made his way out of the Tardis not quite awake yet to notice his daughter however, Amy who was much more awake saw here immediately and ran over to her embracing her in a huge hug "Melody, it's good to see you, but can I ask one question why are there lots of people staring at us " Amy asked "well I thought you might like to see your daughter at work" The doctor said missing out the part of him getting it wrong and in fact he was planning on sneaking out with River for an adventure but much to his annoyance Amy seemed to know what he was up to " you were going to sneak out with her whilst we were asleep again weren't you?" she said teasingly to the Doctor not really needing an answer "you act like a pair of teenagers creeping behind our backs." "River and I do not sneak behind your backs, sneaking would be hard with the amount of noise the Tardis makes" the Doctor said defiantly "yes especially as you refuse to use the blue stabilisers" River agreed "How many times do I have to tell you they are called boringers they are blue boringers" The Doctor exclaimed "Yes of course Sweetie and as much as it's great to see you I have a lecture hall of students all waiting to hear about the myth of the Pandorica and I am guessing they all have questions about how people they believed to be myths are real so go take your seats so I can teach" River ordered. "Yes Mam, come along Ponds, look there's three seats there." the Doctor said as he pulled Rory and Amy over to the only 3 remaining seats.

Whilst they were doing that one of the students suddenly realised who their professor was "Professor if Amy and Rory Pond are your parents then doesn't that make you Melody Pond or Mrs Robinson which ever one you prefer?" The student enquired.

"What! you mean you didn't tell them?" The Doctor exclaimed in shock "What have you taught your students?" he asked much to Rivers annoyance.

"Sweetie if you want to sit in on my lecture feel free but you will do so in silence and if you don't you are fully aware of what I am capable of" River threatened. "And to answer your question" River said turning to face the student "Yes It does make me Melody. But I prefer River Song, which is the name I used, instead of Mrs Robinson, I just changed the Myths to make it say I was called Mrs Robinson so that nobody would recognise my name and put two and two together." River explained.

"So you never used Mrs Robinson?" another student asked to clarify what they were hearing.

"No I never said that. I used the name once in 1969, thanks to someone," River told her students as she glared over to the Doctor. "I still hate you for that you know," She said directly to the Doctor and the Doctor replied with his usual "No you don't" which made a few of the students smirk. "Now get on with the Pandorica I want to hear all about it," He ordered even though he already knew the story.

"Ok then let's begin. The Pandorica began with a paint done by Vincent Van Gough which was later found and given to Winston Churchill who understood how important it was to get the painting to the man it was intended for and knew how to contact him. So he tried to call the Doctor, however, when you call the time vortex it doesn't work, but the Tardis is smart and she rerouted the call to the phone outside of my cell in Stormcage" River started her telling of the story but once again a student had a question.

"You were in stormcage?" the student asked surprised because it was the most secure prison in the universe only the most dangerous of prisoners get put inside and their Professor seemed really nice they couldn't see her being dangerous.

"I had twelve thousand life sentences for killing the best man I have ever known. No one knows who I killed but there were rumours, one of them was that I killed the Doctor, the other one I that I killed my husband." River informed them "which one is true?" she asked deciding she could have a little fun with them now that they knew she was Mrs Robinson.

It was a while before one of the students how thought they knew they answer spoke up. "You're Husband. Because the Doctor is here now" but before River could have her fun, the sound of the Doctors laughter filled the lecture hall. "What?" The student asked. "What is so funny?" "I'm sorry it's just because it is a trick question. River was in Stormcage for killing me and killing her husband because we are the same person. And before you asked I faked my death so that she would be free, believe it or not, I am sure Professor Song will be happy to explain in another lecture. Now back to telling us what happened after good old Winston's phone call, if you please River" the Doctor said impatient for the continuation of the story. "Silence Doctor" River reminded him before continuing.

"Once I got off of the phone with Churchill I escaped from Stormcage, the only person to ever manage to do so might I add, it drove the guards mad because I never stayed in my cell longer than 24 hours. After I escaped, I made a visit to Queen Elizabeth the tenth to steal the painting. Unfortunately I must have got a bit rusty as she caught me as I was about to leave but I showed her the painting and she understood that it was important for me to get it to the Doctor. However, as I said before it is hard to phone the Tardis especially when somebody never picks up his phone" River added throwing a dirty look over to the Doctor. "So instead I graffitied the oldest cliff face in the universe with a message that he would know was from me along with the space time co-ordinates that were in Vincent's painting , I then used my vortex manipulator to go there myself, it's a cheap and nasty way to travel but it's better than nothing. When I got to the destination I fooled some Romans into thinking I was Cleopatra and waited for the Doctor to turn up." River told her students but got interrupted by another question

"How did you know the Doctor would go to the rock face?" The student asked. Her students really were asking many questions today. "Because he always goes to anything that is old or unusual, and the rock face is both because nobody else apart from the doctor will ever be able to translate the message. He is also bound to turn up at a museum, It's how he keeps score, quite amusing actually and useful if you want to jump out of a spaceship but that's a story for a different day." River rambled on to her students

"Now where was I oh yes, I fooled the romans in to thinking I was Cleopatra and waited for the Doctor to arrive. When he finally turned up with Amy I showed them Vincent's painting of the Tardis exploding." River began again but the questions seemed to keep on coming

"I'm sorry Professor but I thought you said Rory was in this… well I would say myth but we all now know that they are true so let's settle for adventure. Any way back to my point if Rory is in this adventure why didn't he arrive with Amy and the Doctor?" The student asked but instead of River answering Rory decided to explain, "Because on a previous adventure I got killed and then erased from time, but don't worry as you can see I come back"

"Thankyou Dad" River said with a slight edge of coldness. She was not angry or mad at Rory she just got slightly annoyed when people started to tell her stories and she knew he would get the hint. "As I said I showed the Doctor and Amy the painting of the exploding Tardis and told them its title 'The Pandorica Opens'. Now the Doctor and I knew the myths about the Pandorica and how it supposedly held the most feared being in the universe, so after the doctor did some looking on some local maps he was sure he knew where the Pandorica was hidden and we went and looked for it."


End file.
